Some thoughts as I've reached a point in developing what I'm showing at the MA exhibition in June.
Thinking more closely about themes to do with memory processing, physical and emotional mapping, archeology, ancient paths, tracks and burials etc - and coming at this via an autoethnographic approach. Although there are converging themes, in my own head (!) they appear as one. I've spoken more about this in my 5 minute video.
I've decided to create a visual narrative of these themes through the lens of a physical place. It feels like a natural and appropriate thing to do seeing as my own (and others') experience of memories held within a place is so central to the work.
I've decided to focus on the Barton burial ground for the exhibition. At least, this is the primary physical focus. Other memories will exist in the work, but these will be less discernible. The more discernible memories will (hopefully) take the viewer on a journey around repeated visits to my dad's grave. I want it to show how the process of visiting, treading old ground and contacting painful experiences has, over time, given way to a new perspective. Not just because of the trees that have grown, but also because my daughter now experiences it through the eyes of a child. How taking her there has felt healing, and reminded me that as time passes, bad memories can fade. They don't disappear, but they can be layered over.
My decision for focussing on Barton is chiefly because it makes thematic sense to have focal point for the one piece of work I'm showing (if I was showing a full collection it would be different) but also because I want some of the other memories to be more hidden as they are quite personal. I've spoken with Jonathan about this in a tutorial.
The diagonal line underneath traces the journey from home to the hospital.
That said, the other memories will be there - through the lines and marks, through the choices I make in terms of what fragment integrates or layers with another. It's all there - but I need to keep part of it hidden. And no doubt it will continue to weave in and out of my work in the future and I'm interested to see where the ideas continue to take me. In a strange way it feels empowering to have seized this memory tangle in this way. I'm facing it, and creating a narrative around it that works for me. I'm attempting to do something physically, that the brain tries to do neurologically: that is to re order, re organise and integrate its stuck or buried traumas within the wider landscape of the body. It's a process I had absolutely no idea I would be doing when I started this course.
Some thoughts as I've been working out how the fragments will work:
Fragments
Different papers - what's effective? What changes with different paper? What layers best?
Bound, stitched and fragments in book form - how do these forms work within the composition? What is the language of this in relation to the concepts I'm looking at?
Background - are the lines connecting them on the wall or are they all mounted onto a surface first?
At the moment, I'm continuing to work out more of a composition, but I know I want to present the fragments on the wall, spaced apart (not sure how far) but enough space to let them breath. Not sure how many clustered together either. Then with lines that join them together, that show how they connect and lead to anf from one another. No frgament will have primary place or be the 'main' one. That's deliberate as I want there to be a feeling of movement (walking) going to a place again and again.
There will be some bound elements too. I'm not sure about this formation though. Still working on things.
Mindful and aware of the challenge of marrying two distinct yet connected themes. I want them to come across- but I need to remember that I don't need to explain everything or show everything!
The neurobiological process of memory integration, dissociation, and trauma resolution
The anthropological significance of ritual visits; grounding; journeys; and our relationship with burial
To me they feel weaved well together in my head, and I enjoy the movement of it even though it can feel like I'm juggling a bit.
I came to the resolution that some unity can be found in the fact the two primary themes are linked by their shared association with buried landscapes, both physical and psychological.
When I defined this, it made sense to dig deeper into the Barton location as an anchor to create the visual narrative. I've been visiting it repeatedly, charting how it changes through the seasons, mirroring how my experience of it has changed as I've got older and I now go as a parent as well as a daughter.
In my research paper I looked at the occultist/esoteric art making of Othello Colquhoun and her connection with Cornwall. What role can this still play conceptually in the exhibition or the future? The direct translation of 'occult' literally describes something that is hidden. It's not all spirits and witches. I proposed Ithell Colquhoun was engaging in a form of processing of her own hidden self. In this way I suppose the occult still plays its part in my work.
Commercial stuff
As I think about the exhibition - I wonder how this work translates to other spaces? How are they 'packaged' for a more commercial setting? ie how do I make them a more purchasable product? I almost don't want to think of it all in the way, at least at the moment, when I'm so immersed in being creative, testing ideas, experimentation etc but ultimately this is something tangible to consider. I would like to be in a position where I'm regularly showing and selling my work.
It's partly on my mind as I'm concurrently getting my head into two showings I have later this year. Open studios in July and then a showing at Stapleford Granary, which I'm happy to have been selected for. Then there's open calls I apply for when I can.
What role can text have? I have some 'thought trails' written down but haven't shared them yet. Will I for this final show? I'm not sure. I oscillate between wanting to show words or not.